The Song of Healing has always been one of my favorite Zelda songs, across all time. The game itself often made me extremely sad because of all the people you, honestly, were too late to save. It was a game full of grief, but one part, and I think the one that actually always made me the most sad, was when you saved Pamela's Father - probably one of the only real happy micro-endings in the game. I've cried several times over the years when Pamela rushes to hug her father, even in times he and I weren't getting along, I could feel her desperation and relief as if it were my own. I wish there was a song that could have healed us, too.

We discussed, today, how angry I really am at the world. Mostly at the medical world. The idea that one little "whoops we weren't thorough enough" reminds me how hard we should bold and underline the word "practice" in medical practice. 

That said, I don't want to be an angry person. This cord tied to an inferno is too easily pulled, and I don't like the person I am right now. His song, for me, was "You are my sunshine" and I want to go back to the "warm ray" and not this scalding hatred. That's not what he would have wanted, even though he didn't want to die. 

We face several injustices throughout life, and, while it's okay to hate them and curse the sky in the moment, we still have to decide how, if at all, they will shape us in the future. I think the hardest part is recognizing it in the first place, because how can you fight a war when you don't even know it exists? When you give something a name, it doesn't feel as overwhelming and frightening. It becomes solvable, understandable, and, in time, manageable. 

People keep telling me "you'll never be who you were before" but that doesn't mean it has to be an overall bad change. There just needs to be a way to lance this pus filled wound and allow the sticky, stinking hatred to clear itself. Every time I feel it, I cry so hard I give myself a headache, but I think each release relieves a modicum of weight.

And so we go.