Today my mom brought the imprint of my dad's thumb to me. I sent some board games home with her and my nephew, and as I unwrapped and hung the little keychain, a dull nausea settled in the back of my throat and stayed there for a while. 

What is it about grief that makes it feel normalized to mentally understand a person is gone, but as soon as you're faced with a physical reminder it's like you weren't actually aware the person is gone?

I tried really hard to get through a lot of homework today. My VGD class is done until the 6th, and tomorrow I have to do my psych and Num Methods class before I can enjoy myself. Really, start on the Machine Learning stuff too. I wish either VGD or Psych would open up more stuff, because I'd like to honestly work through all of them to be done early. I hate waiting.

My GPU is fully installed and my computer area is completely rewired and ready to go.  It's definitely a lot beefier than it was before, I am wondering if I need another cooling fan, honestly. And if it'll fit. I may post a picture of it, tomorrow. My nephew was staring at my apartment like it was the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

While I was doing my homework I tried to do more Forestry to get that stupid garland. I think there were two dryads that popped up, today. Jagex really ruined that minigame. I guess I should go hard at it though and maybe I'll get lucky one day, then get to move on, like Molch island fishing. It's just so boring. I already told myself I'd do it after I finish the monkey agility course thing (I'm 850/2000 on that) but ugh. 

I'm not prepared for more firsts. I just want you to come back. I told my doctor that I've never felt so much emotional pain in my life, and I think 90% of it is because you are no longer here to give me a hug and tell me everything's going to work out. I miss you so much. That thumbprint makes me think of how "water isn't wet, it just makes other things wet" - There are many things you have touched, and affected, but you will never be, again.